Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
Randomize
