my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
I wanna passion pit in your ass
You can't special order awesome
Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
The druken crowd just broke into singing "God Bless America" while waiting the newlyweds to get in the limo. My friend is eating rose petals.
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
Randomize
