And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
That's the last time you call me to prove to some girl at a bar that you're English. It's bad enough that you actually get to fuck them because of it without having to wake me up to seal the deal.
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
Randomize
