Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
accomplished twins. life is a go
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
You are two creepy Justin Bieber quotes away from me not talking to you for the rest of the day
If I had a pelvic thrust emoticon, I would use it
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
Some drunk guy thought my knee scooter was the sexiest thing he's ever seen. He then proceeded to ask me about duck hunting and decoys...
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
Randomize
