their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
Too tired to do the dishes so I made mac and cheese in a teapot. There's still some left if you want some...
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
Randomize
