I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Randomize
