So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
I think my Halloween costume this year will be made entirely of pillows and I'll be Marshmellow girl or Kirby. That way I'm comfortable, warm, and if I fall over drunk I'm safe.
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
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