Do vagina's smell?
I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
I have so many feelings about this burrito
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
I just found an entire bag of French fries under the seat of my car labeled "For emergency use only" drunk me is always planning ahead.
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
Randomize
