i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
When was the last time you made a good decision when you could've made a shitty one
I had a salad today
Screwed a girl without a condom but hey at least you got your veggies
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
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