you guys were way drunker than both of me
Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
FOund a bunch of old fireworks spring cleaning.
Who is our new insurance provider?
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
How I know I've been single too long: I'm reveling in finding out my taken friends are being tragically dumped
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
Randomize
