So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
Dashing through the vodka, in a tinder swiping rage, all the fuck boys get a no, laughing all the way.
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
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