So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
Would it be wrong to text my ex and say "congratulations on the new baby that you had with a stripper"?
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
Randomize
