If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
If penises could fly, my ass would totally be an airport.
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
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