I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
She kept giving the uber driving directions and we all thought they were wrong so we'd send him the other way. Turns out she wasn't guiding us home, but to the half gallon that she hid in the bushes on the way to the bar.
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
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