i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
Randomize
