Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
Yeah I should probably start planning our first conversation instead of our first child.
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
Randomize
