Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
I don't know how this happened but I got an email thanking me for being a Waffle House regular. HOW DO THEY KNOW?? Maybe I need to stop going there shitfaced.
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
Randomize
