Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
Randomize
