I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
now i know why i became what i already was.
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
Randomize
