Taylor Swift is so right about you.
All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
Nyc is like a mosaic of my failed dates.
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
You were so high that you only FaceTimed me so that you could stare into your own eyes and not actually say anything
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
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