I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
I feel like death. Did you die last night?
Nope. Ready for round 2. Fiesta!
unreal. Greatest comeback since Jesus
Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
Randomize
