i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
I found a body half wedged into my bedroom wall this morning. How do I explain THIS to the carpenters?
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
Hey? Just a hypothetical. You ever accidentally kill somebody's cat on purpose? Like you didn't mean to but it had it coming? If you're wondering it tripped me while I was walking down the stairs and I landed on it as I fell.
Randomize
