Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
If anyone wants to ring in the new year with gluttony and yoga pants, let me know. As soon as it becomes a socially acceptable hour to drink margaritas, I'm gonna go down on a chimichanga.
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
Randomize
