just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
Randomize
