well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
Randomize
