i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
Met the five year old's gym teacher for next year. He is an old drinking buddy and I used to fuck his older brother. It was like a walk of shame 20 years late.
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
New bet. First person to fuck their girlfriend and narrate the whole thing in Morgan freemans voice wins. You are disqualified if she asks you about. My girlfriend is on her rag. U have the headstart. Your move...
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
My brothers dog was hit by a car and died. They're really sad about it.
But they're having a baby! It's like a dog only 40 billion times worse!
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
Randomize
