i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
I just recycled a years worth of liquor bottles. I can feel my alcoholic carbon footprint shrinking
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
we were running to make last call and you stopped me and said very seriously "if i fall, go on without me. just make sure theres a beer in my hand when you go"
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
Randomize
