Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
the maid of honor just got in a fight with the mother of the bride at a gas station across the street. best. wedding. ever.
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called.
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
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