Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
the guy at the pet shop just had an eye seizure while looking at my chest
my credit card is covered in vodka and bad memories
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
Randomize
