The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
Randomize
