He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
You are the jesus of drinking
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
Randomize
