Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
It's a long story, but I accidentally peed on my dog. I'll tell you about it tomorrow, and we shall never tell my wife.
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
Randomize
