Say something about gay babies.
I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
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