4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
I woke up with a new Tiffanys necklace on. I'm such a classy drunk.
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
Randomize
