When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
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