His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
but why does your life always sound like the plot of a porn?
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
I just spent 20 minutes in a Subway trying to take a candid photo of the doppleganger of the guy I lost my virginity to instead of eating. That's all the evidence I need that my life is on track.
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
Randomize
