Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
Okay who let me pass out in a recliner cuddling a pitbull and a cardboard cutout of Orlando Bloom
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
Randomize
