i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
That accounts for only three of the penises
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
EMERGENCY FRIEND CRISIS: WE HAVE TOO MUCH WHISKEY. ABORT HANGING OUT WITH MELISSA, RECOMMEND TO HANG OUT WITH OUR WHISKEY INSTEAD
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Randomize
