yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
I just sucked dick on a ferry
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
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