your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.
It came up in court that I told the arresting officer my name was Thomas Jefferson, and I was born in 1776. I almost kept a straight face. Almost.
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
Randomize
