He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
I just had sex with a man wearing a Darth Vader helmet....he pressed the voice button the whole time that said "I am your father". I don't think I can ever come back from this
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
Randomize
