GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
how was last night?
i woke up with my hand stuck in a jam jar with my keys in the bottom and a dog licking peanut butter off my boobs. you tell me.
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
Randomize
