well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
Randomize
