It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
THEY NOW HAVE MIXED DRINK EMOJIS! LIFE IS GOOD! PRINCESSES DON'T DRINK BEER
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
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