My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
You called me at 4am shouting drunk shit about Poland and asking me to 'come out and play.' Where the fuck were you?
Poland
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
Do you remember telling the Uber driver that "his cologne makes you want to bone"?
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
Randomize
