I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
Hey. Hey you. Just wanted to let you know that I'm adorable. FUCKING ADORABLE. That is all. This update brought to you by our proud sponsor bud light.
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
Hello, the Less Drunk that has my sister's phone. I am the Moderately Drunk. I am questioning your Friday activities. Why are you not the More Drunk?
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
Randomize
