I'm sad I can't be there is wknd, I'm laying on the beach and daydreaming of you / crying a bit
I'm watching a porn and daydreaming of you. Sounds like we both need Kleenex
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
The president of the frat said he was honored to award me "Best Overall Blow Jobs", free admission to all their future parties, and a $20 gift certificate to Denny's. I'm not sure if I feel proud or if that's just the burrito coming back up...
Also, what are the symptoms of syphilis?
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
I feel bad cuz I was his ride home, but I didn't know I was going to have a religious experience with a guy in a cookie monster t-shirt. You can't plan for that shit.
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
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