I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
I woke up this morning covered in blood and peanut butter. I am now safe from vampires with nut allergies.
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
Single lady's Saturday night: eat doritos, masturbate, eat more doritos. Do shot of Jager. Repeat until desired result is achieved.
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
Randomize
