I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
Randomize
