Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.�
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
Randomize
