So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
so my 6 year old came home from school and asked me if he was a bastard cause the kids at school called him one, i told him to call them a clit. those parents will hate me
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
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